


Fade To Black

by MorganaNK



Category: Inspector Lynley - All Media Types, Inspector Lynley Mysteries (TV)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-06 05:57:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12205221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganaNK/pseuds/MorganaNK
Summary: Barbara thinks about the colours of love





	Fade To Black

**Author's Note:**

> Property of Elizabeth George and the BBC, no copyright infringement intended

Poems and songs talk about love having colour. Red roses, pink hearts, blue skies and golden sunsets. That might be true for other people, but as far as I’m concerned love has always been black.

Everyone I have ever loved has hurt me in some way; Terry by becoming ill and then dying, my parents by turning their backs on me after Terry became ill. Falling apart physically and mentally when he died, before passing away themselves.

I know that sounds selfish, just as I know that none of them had any control over what happened, but deep inside of me there still is this frightened and lonely young girl who more than anything wants to turn back time so that her world can return to how it was.

My experiences growing up have moulded me into the person I am now. Angry, defensive, scared, alone; too terrified to let anyone get close.

Until Tommy Lynley.

I tried treating him like everyone else, convinced that he would soon get fed up with me and leave me alone in my misery.

I was wrong.

Slowly he managed to chip away at the wall I’d built around me and, instead of rebuilding my defences I allowed him to see the real me.

I care about him now, more than I have ever cared about anyone or anything, but for his sake I still must keep some distance between us, which is why I call him sir even though we are friends. It drives him to distraction, but that’s the way things need to be.

I can’t let him get any closer, I wouldn’t survive losing him too.

I can’t let him fade to black.


End file.
